Confession

Am suppose to do my psyc policy report but end up feel like blogging. (So sien with this opening)
I have a confession to make....

That is, I realise I like to criticize people more then giving compliment. I didn't criticize like in front of them, but kind of secretly telling my friend, or another way, saying it in my blog. Another way was like when I have slight dislike to that person,  and then if happen another person also told me she kind of doesn't someone, i will normally end up chatting with the person like how we dislike someone, which then end up from dislike to hate. (This is kind of psychology effect, where outsider's comment will increase your dislike to something through discussion )

So like it's note easy for me to like someone for no reason if I don't really know someone well, I give me criticism then compliments. Then it was very hard to switch back to good. I am not sure if I really dislike that person or just because of jealousy. If someone at my age can do thing better than me, and then I think she/he doesn't deserve to have this, I kind of hate them. In a way I will find excuses on how they got into this way. Like parents' paying off their credit card, because she has a rich boyf, etc.

The most common one was because I myself have this advantage to study oversea and it was most of people's dream to have this opportunity, but then when I go back M'sia and realise my friend are holding things like LV, or wateva gucci bag, I will get the 'uggggghhhh' feeling secretly. And then I realise I jealous them for the wrong reason, because I better a future then them, in a wiser way. (let me praise myself la, ok)

I know at this stage you will tell me not to bother other people. Thanks for that, I am learning to do that.

With my parents' smart choice of giving up N amount of chanel bag, and trying to pay off my school fees, I am glad to be their kids. Because with their choice, I normally get a wiser compliment other  than 'your bag so nice, how much did you buy' (and then someone whispered at my back like 'she must be damn rich, look at her bag), I enjoy being knowledgable, sharing experience with my friends, and able to talk with someone knowledgble freely, as well as being grouped as a 'wise' rather than a 'rich' group, and I don't even need to say a lot of wise phrase to show that I am wise

Ok la, not that I am really wise or what, I am still shallow, still want to wear whateva Serena wears and things like that, but what i want to say is jealousy happened to me, all ~~~ the time, i don't like that feeling. Although sometime I will tell myself like 'so what with a Chanel bag, it doesn't bother me at all', but I am also learning to balance my own feeling thinking those are just some stupid representation.

Oh....wait.... why am I here now

Oh ya

What I wanted to say was I am not sure I dislike those kind of people is because i think they are pure brainless or because I jealous them with their designer stuff. Because you see, chanel bag had a great history, and it seems to associate with wise people, but then i saw some brainless people (or in my opinion lar) taking it, acting to be wise. So I am very confuse,

- are they really wise, and just because of my personal judgmental problem, I hate them by acting wisely because I am not wise enough (and then I thought I am wise or WTF), hence the feeling of 'JEALOUSY'

- because they are just brainless and I am really wise

Probably I should stop doing this and learn not to bother other people problem

Shit lar, this is probably my crappiest post ever, I don't even know what kind of conclusion I have made, but I reckon the keyword are like:

WISE
JEAOULOSY
CHANEL
JUDGMENTAL
DISLIKE

P/S: please criticize me kao kao lat
p/p/s: just tell me am I the only one who had this kind of weird things going around my head